In the past, I’ve been branded as being decidedly anti-Christmas, even garnering some “hate mail” from a few readers about my lack of holiday cheer.

Little did they know that they were communicating with one of Santa’s biggest helpers.

For more than half a decade, right around Christmas, I’ve taken on the enjoyable responsibility of helping Santa make phone calls to kids across Alabama and the Southeast.

Friends and friends of friends know they can schedule a time for Santa to call their children (usually on Christmas Eve) and help make their holiday a bit more magical.

Santa always begins the call with a hearty “Ho Ho Ho” and a heartfelt “Merry Christmas.” You can hear the excitement in the young ones’ voices when he asks “Do you know who this is?” as they immediately exclaim “Santa!”

He always calls the kids by name, and asks them if they’ve been good boys and girls that year.

Sometimes, the parents tell Santa what their little ones need to work on or do better.

Santa might have to admonish them to make sure they keep their room clean, listen to Mom and Dad more or even make sure they’re using the potty the way they’re supposed to.

Santa has gotten some interesting questions over the years from the kids.

Last year’s was “Santa, why do you have a 334 number?”

The quick answer: “Well, Santa has a condo in Auburn for when he wants to go to a football game, Ho Ho Ho.” (Fact: any answer becomes legitimate if followed by a boisterous “Ho Ho Ho”)

This year’s most frequently asked question was “Where are you right now?”

If Santa was smart, he probably would have pulled up NORAD’s “Santa Tracker” website and rattled off wherever it said he was.

Since Santa wasn’t that well prepared, the standard answer became “Well, Santa’s GPS isn’t really working properly tonight, but ol’ Rudolph is guiding the sleigh and we know he knows where he’s going, don’t we?”

That seemed to work, as most of the children agreed.

Santa then asks the kids if they’ve left out the appropriate milk and cookies for him by the fireplace.

Whatever variety of cookie they say is always Santa’s favorite; the family who set out for Santa some bourbon-laced eggnog got extra points this year.

I often hear back from the parents and grandparents about how thrilled the children were to talk to Jolly St. Nicholas himself, which never fails to warm even my icy heart.

Christmas is supposed to be a magical time for the young and the young at heart, and I’m glad I’ve gotten to play a small role in keeping that alive.

Cliff McCollum is managing editor of Gulf Coast Media. He can be reached at cliff@gulfcoastmedia.com.