The Egyptians have overturned an entrenched regime in a comparatively bloodless revolution that apparently was orchestrated through Facebook.

At least that’s what Wael Ghonim, head of marketing for Google in the Middle East and North Africa, is claiming. The Egyptian authorities arrested Ghonim for his role as administrator for a Facebook page that served as a sort of headquarters for the revolutionary movement.

At this point, the movement has resulted in the capitulation of the ruling powers and the transfer of authority to the military, which has promised to put democracy into motion. The young folks of the nation were behind the movement, naturally, since only the young know how to work the Internet. Egypt is a nation of young people, mainly because it has a high birth rate, and its people have a short life expectancy.

Those things aside, it seems significant to me that the keyboard rather than the joystick has proved to be the decisive factor in bringing down an oppressive regime. It led me to wonder what might have happened had Facebook and the Internet been around 236 years ago, when the American colonists were trying to fight off oppression. I took a virtual tour of history, back to the 18th century, when the Tea Party was bubbling in a place called Boston. Here is the string of comment posted in the Facebook of my imagination:

PAUL REVERE: Yo, Dudes of Liberty. Let’s pitch a tea party on Boston Commons to celebrate the massacre of those vile New York Jets by our New England Patriots.

SAM ADAMS: Forsooth, Paul, we’ll have to make it a beer buste. Everybody in Boston is a tea-totaler now that the ruddy Brits have placed a tax on tea.

PAUL REVERE: A tax on tea? Whence cometh suche an idiotick idea?

SAM ADAMS: They want us to help them pay for the warre we helped them fyte to take Canada away from the French. If wee let them tax our tea, next thing you know, they’ll want to tax our beer and our whiskey.

PAUL REVERE: Oppression, man! Let’s have a council on Bunker Hill. You bring the beer; I’ll bring the silver.

SAM ADAMS:  A capital idea, dude, but first we have a problem. The Brits are planning to march over to Lexington to grab me and John Hancock for throwing some of their tea into Boston Harbor. Then they’ll march over to Concord to grab our stash of guns, which we are entitled to under the 2nd Amendment. Would you mind keeping an eye on them and letting us know whether they march by land or by sea?

PAUL REVERE: Yea, verily. I’ll get a friend to hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch of the Old North Church as a signal light: One if by land and two if by sea, and I on the opposite shore shall be, ready to ride and spread the alarm to every Middlesex village and farm!”

SAM ADAMS: Hold your horses, Paul. You don’t need a lantern, and we don’t need no ride. Just send a picture from your mobile phone, and we’ll get the word out on Facebook. And remember, this is a Christian nation. We’ll warn the men and the women, but let’s steer clear of the middle sex.

OK, Dude. I see activity among the Redcoats right now. They’re marching toward Lexington. I’m capturing them on my phone. You should be seeing them right now. Act Quickly. The Redcoats are just over the Verizon!

And thus, it was Paul Revere who launched the cell-phone shot heard round the world.

Lt. Francis Smith of His Majesty’s army was surfing through his Facebook account. Having “friended” Benedict Arnold, he was part of the circle of “friends” that included Revere and Adams. When he picked up the exchange between the revolutionary leaders, he quickly texted his superior, Gen. Thomas Gage:

“OMG, General. The rebs are on to us! Now there will be a musket pointed from behind every tree and fence rail between Charles Towne and Lexington! Advise scrub mission.”

General Gage, who was enjoying wine and cheese with his Colonial mistress, concurred, and the Battle of Lexington and Concord was averted.

Meanwhile, Thomas Paine, from his Facebook website, “Common Sense,” put out the challenge: “This is no time for summer soldiers or sunshine patriots.”

Patrick Henry of Virginia proclaimed, “Dudes! Give me liberty or give me death.”

John Hancock got on Facebook to call for a Continental Congress in Philadelphia. Henry Laurens in South Carolina and Button Gwinnett in Georgia were soon responding. In Tennessee, John Sevier put out the word for his Volunteers to hurry on over to Kings Mountain on the border between the Carolinas to block any movement of British troops. Major Patrick Ferguson of His Majesty’s 71st Regiment, Highland Light Infantry, read Sevier’s post on Facebook and texted his superior: “Rebel’s have all ready occupied King’s Mtn. Position Impregnable. Assault would be as suicidal as Pickett’s Charge.”

From his home in England, William Pitt the Elder monitored North American developments, and texted George III as follows:

“G3: The colonists are welle organised and welle armed. Sending an army to conquer them would be a wayste of British blood. Better to turne the government over to a wise military leader who can commande their allegiance. Another leader named ‘George’ would be ideal.”

So George III turned the government over to George Washington, who immediately appointed Thomas Jefferson to write the Declaration of Independence.   

Pitt texted his son, William Pitt the Younger: “OMG, what have I done?”

The son responded: “Not to worry, Pop. They’ve named a town after you, and one day the Steelers will whup the Patriots.”

Beats fighting it out with Scuds.

Readers may write Gene Owens at 315 Lakeforest Circle, Anderson SC 29625 or e-mail him at WadesDixieco@AOL.com.