Columnist Dr. Cheryl Christy

Author's note: This column is intended for educational purposes only. It aims to highlight gaps in health knowledge, provide support and empower organizations to guide their members in creating effective health and wellness programs.

Although I have written on this subject previously, it bears repeating. To my fellow Greek Stoic philosophers: “Qui docet, discit” (he who teaches, learns). This is a reminder to myself that when I am feeling well and whole, the next five people I meet may be going through the worst season of their lives. Connecting with them in a meaningful way may offer the encouragement they need to seek mental or physical healing.

Civility is the backbone of any society worth living in. Those who have been blessed to have lived in Baldwin County and especially the Gulf Shores area for most, if not all, of their life may not understand those who move here from a not-so-great place. We show up without family, friends, jobs, memberships and connections. We look to the community for friendship and support. And finding none, we feel diminished, ashamed to reach out.

THE STRUCTURE OF INCIVILITY

Individuals can experience uncivil behavior in various ways, and they usually handle it without feeling slighted. However, when incivility comes from people or places of trust, such as faith or civic organizations, from leaders within those organizations or from those we felt a connection with, it can cause deep emotional distress. Feelings of misplaced trust worsen if the offending party resorts to silence as a way of self-protection. These toxic actions can lead us to sever ties with faith or community groups where we not only felt a shared identity but also had hope of involvement. That cannot happen when people feel unsafe, devalued and isolated by those we thought would welcome us. It appears as ostracism, quiet exclusion or closed circles. Sometimes this is not intentional, as in organizations where too few people are responsible for too many things. When progress depends on too few leaders, execution isn’t aligned and improvement efforts struggle to sustain momentum. This often results in disconnection from those who wish to serve or who may need help. Incivility without meanness, just absent kindness.

HOW INCIVILITY AFFECTS HEALTH

Feelings of rejection are not just emotionally distressing; they can be deeply damaging to physical and/or mental health. The human brain processes social exclusion similarly to physical injury, compromising both our immune system and emotional stability. MRI brain scans show that rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain. The brain interprets social disconnection as a survival threat, a deeply ingrained evolutionary response. Social pain triggers the body’s stress responses, elevating stress hormone levels like cortisol and lowering immunity. Over time, chronic feelings of exclusion lead to systemic inflammation and a heightened risk of conditions like heart disease and stroke. Rejection shatters one’s fundamental sense of belonging, self-esteem and locus of control. This can trigger severe anxiety, depression and rejection sensitivity, causing people to withdraw socially. When rejection happens in environments where people expect support and shared values, it can trigger spiritual or institutional trauma. Humans have a fundamental need to belong.

When people feel valued and supported, a sense of belonging gives them the emotional energy to care for their own health and reach out to help others. This is real community.

Dr. Cheryl Christy is a Baldwin County resident and registered nurse with nearly 30 years of experience. She holds master's degrees in nursing education and nursing practice and a doctorate in nursing practice. She is a member of Sigma Theta Tau, Phi Pi Chapter, a certified lay counselor and the author of "Voices for Healthcare," a health care blog.

Read her previous column titled "Heat waves and health over 60" on www.GulfCoastMedia.com. Her blog can be found at https://substack.com/@dnprn.