A young man called me the other day working on a Scouting merit badge and needed to talk to an author. I was flattered, so complied.

He ask me what training or skills one needed to become a writer. My answer was short and surprised me, because I had given only a moment’s thought before I said, “Words.”

There was a pause. It was not the answer he expected, so I went on. “You need to master words. You can get some mastery by learning grammar, which is the art of how words relate to each other, and essential to good writing, but the most important thing you can do is read, read a lot to learn words. You should read with a dictionary nearby and make a point to read a few words in the dictionary as well.”

Another pause, so I plunged on, “Words mean things, and the more words you know the meaning of, the better equipped you are to tell a story, and the livelier your story will be.”

We ended the call. He did not get what he expected. I was as surprised as he was as to how the conversation went, but it served to get my wheels turning.

Words do have meaning, and sometimes we do not realize the thought we are conveying. I had a lady ask, “Can I talk to you?”

She was baffled when I asked in reply, “Am I allowed to talk too, or am I to just listen?” I knew what she meant, she wished to “speak with me,” not “talk to me,” but words have meaning and some can be very powerful.

There are two very foul, four letter words, and one three letter one that I cannot tolerate.

People, male and female, use these words without regard to their consequence to the hearer, or to themselves. Words have meaning, and even when used unthinkingly, have impact.

The first of the foul is “can’t”, as in, “I can’t do that.” By saying “can’t” you have already agreed to fail. How do you succeed if you have already said you will fail before you have started?

The first time I realized this ambiguity in speech was when I heard the saying, “We killed ‘can’t’, and whipped ‘couldn’t’ ‘til it could.” I had never realized the impact of a word unthinkingly used. What you are saying when you say “can’t” is, “I have never done that before, doubt my ability, and am afraid to try,” a statement fraught with failure, one you would never use, but “can’t” slips from our mouths with ease. It is a filthy, nasty, failure word.

The next filthy failure word is “try”. Yoda of Star Wars fame says, “Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.”

There is great truth in those words. Use of the word “try” implies that the user might succeed, but is willing to accept failure, because he, or she tried. Failure in life is not an option. Why would you use a word that implies acceptance of it?

My other filthy, four-letter word is “quit”, which is what “can’t” implies. Can’t is quitting before you try. See how these hateful words feed on each other?

Each one is laden with failure, but we casually use them, and worse, tolerate their use in school, work, sports and a hundred other activities. They are the epitome of negative speak.

Words mean things, and are powerful in their influence. Why not use such words as “can”, and “will”, and “do”? Speak positive words into your life as well as others. Tell yourself you can, and will, and do, and in doing so, you give yourself, and others permission to succeed. We can do with more success, and a lot less failure.

David Wilson Atwood is a local writer whose human-interest columns offer a unique perspective. He may be contacted, at: www.starchasers.us, or david@starchasers.us