It’s so hard to believe that a month of precious summertime is already gone. This summer I’ve learned the worst kept secret of those living their teenage years: we know nothing and have no idea what we want. Decisions are not the easiest things to make, and it seems that the older I get the harder they are. I’m barely sixteen years old and I’ve never missed the days when picking a crayon out of the box was the hardest decision of my life more. These days everything feels like such a big deal. Friendship isn’t based on a shared favorite color anymore and school now dictates so much more than August to May each year. The morals I’ve learned since I was a baby now come in to play when I chose who to spend my time with. Life’s changing and I have to learn how to adapt to it. As much as we teenagers want to think that we’ve got it all figured out and can make it on our own, the truth is most of us can’t yet. Less than a month ago I was firmly in the “I’m independent” camp. I believed that I could make all the decisions about my future on my own with no help from my parents. All I wanted to do after graduation is go to a great school far, far away from home. I was so prepared for it, even though it’s two years away. All I wanted was to be grown up and on my own that I was completely missing out on being a kid and enjoying it while it lasts. In June I took a nineteen day trip through Italy, France, and Spain. I saw the trip as the perfect opportunity to prove just how grown up I was. The first week and a half of the trip were exactly what I wanted. Rome was just what I thought I needed: something new and different, filled with people and life. The rolling hills of the countryside of Italy were beautiful. Everything was so green and peaceful. There would be miles and miles of fields in the valleys with houses spread from field to field. The next turn in the road would reveal a little city nestled into the side of the hill with all the houses bunched together. Everything was so beautiful and new. I was getting everything I had wanted this summer: new places, new people, and a sense of independence I’d never had before. But as the days passed I found myself longing for contact with home and something familiar. I’ve never appreciated the familiarity of home more than I did in La Spezia, Italy. As I was sitting in a dingy hotel room after nearly flooding the bathroom by taking a shower and surrounded by drying clothes that had been drenched in the rain all I wanted was my mommy. Thankfully the homesickness passed within a few days and the rest of the trip was wonderful. The lesson I learned stuck with me though. Being independent and being alone are two different things. Wanting to be far from home had nothing to do with standing on my own two feet. It was about leaving everything behind, no strings attached. I still need those strings though. Home is where I can still be a kid that has a little shelter from the reality of the world and where most things can be fixed by a hug from mom. I know these days are fleeting and they’re not something to be suffered through but cherished.