We all make mistakes. I am not talking about the everyday ones such as walking around the house looking for your car keys while carrying them in your hand. No, I am talking about life’s major mistakes, such as losing a relationship, a job, or failing miserably at anything. These are the ones for which we create myths which give us permission to keep living.

I have been fired from jobs. Is there shame in it? Maybe, but no matter the way the firing went down, it represents a failure and a shock. To cope with this blatant shortcoming, we, to protect ourselves from the pain and embarrassment of failure, create a myth to explain away our downfall.

As I have gotten older and survived many such failures, I look back and wonder why I didn’t simply say, “I got fired.”

“Why?”

“Because I did not do my job.”

“Oh,” the person will say, and that would be the end of it, and it would be true, and we could move on, but that is often not the way of it. We feel we need to create a myth to soften the blow, to allow ourselves and others to think well of us, when in fact, we did a lousy job and needed to be fired.

The myth we create is not a bald-faced lie, but could be. Most often there is truth in our myth such as saying, “I was going to leave anyway,” or “They were downsizing and this gives me an opportunity to explore a new career path,” or the ever popular, “I got laid off.” None of these is entirely untrue, allowing the blow of being fired to land more gently on us, but they are not the whole truth either, making them lies.

Anyone who has ever been in love understands the pain of a failed relationship. Why is it always the other party’s fault? Why can’t we admit we weren’t right for each other, or that we did something unforgiveable? Why can’t we take responsibility for our actions?

The answer to these questions is a simple one. No one wants to look in the mirror and see a failure staring back. It is there and we have to live with it, or do we? Why not create a myth to make it easier, and make us look better? Even nations create myths.

The North American continent was attractive to Europeans for two reasons, freedom and land. Europe had very little of either. As the desire for both grew, so did America. We pressed ever westward with little regard for those who were here first. Greed was what settled the west, but that is an ugly word. We created a myth and called it Manifest Destiny.

In the 1860s, and on into the 20th century, there was a myth in the south that the Confederacy did not lose the War of Northern Aggression, which is a myth in itself since the south fired the first shots, but that we, having made our point, simply left the field of battle. This makes a historical failure more palatable and we can once again blame the damned Yankees for our woes.

Why not tell the truth about our failures? Has not the United States become the land of the second chance? We see fallen sports stars and other celebrities who are given another opportunity to prove themselves, and isn’t that what forgiveness is about?

As I look back over my failures, and they are legion, I am amazed at how I have fallen into myth making. I have done it to make life less harsh, but as I see it now, it was a lot of energy expended in an effort that people likely saw through, or did not care about.

Failure is not easy and living with it hard, but saying, “I stumbled and fell,” is easier and more plausible than blaming my fall on gravity.

David Wilson Atwood is a local writer whose human-interest columns offer a unique perspective. He may be contacted at: www.starchasers.us.