What is the secret key to having good character?

Is it something that comes easy for people? Do you think great parents produce great children that exemplify “doing the right thing?” Who actually teaches people to be respectful, kind, trustworthy, and responsible? Could you imagine what our children would be like without quality teachers?

These are just a few questions that come to mind when I think of character development.

As an educator, it is important to stress to students the right way to deal with bullying, cheating, stealing and other inappropriate acts that can take place on a school campus. Guest speakers are often invited to encourage young people how to effectively respond to the many types of peer pressure. School programs are also planned to educate students on the rewards of excelling academically and behaviorally during the school year.

For example, most schools in Baldwin County offer an ice cream or pizza party for honor-roll students. Some schools have established a good deeds program to honor those students who go above the call of duty to help others. Some administrators even offer a reward system for a particular grade level that best demonstrates how to keep the school clean and orderly.

Educators aim to meet the needs of students who require special services, extra instruction or peer mediation; however, it is also important that they take the time to recognize those good students who are observed “doing what is right.”

Students often face pressure to conform to certain behaviors. When these behaviors become destructive, students need to find strategies for dealing with them in a positive way. Strategies may be presented to them that deal with self-awareness, decision-making, emotional stability, and goal-setting. Yet, in high-pressure situations, those skills that best serve the student are communication skills.

Whether a teacher or a school counselor speaks to your child at school, it is critical that children understand the true meaning of the word “peer.”

Pressures may occur in relation to drugs, promiscuity, laughing after a joke, choice of relationships and misconduct.

Peer pressure can take many forms ranging from mild demands to overt intimidation.

Adults can teach young people how to feel comfortable in replying with an assertive response.

It is sometimes difficult for students to stand firm in their actions for what is right if their buddies are watching. A helpful technique that guidance counselors use to teach students how to successfully react to peer pressure is known as “role-playing.”

Common forms of peer pressure are skipping school, sneaking out of the house, name-calling, engaging in drug-related activity and theft. Effective strategies for dealing with peer pressure should be taught at home and at a school setting; at an early age.

Children tend to misbehave for four reasons: They often feel a need to gain attention, power, revenge or some form of self-fulfillment. Therefore, it is important that parents remember to ACT, because sometimes words can be futile.

Parents must focus on the underlying problem that causes children to misbehave and help them correct negative behavior. This method works better than rebuking, criticizing or finding fault in young people. Parents must also demand obedience; this implies reassurance for children that they are loved.

Think for a second: Do you find yourself, time and again, holding hands with your child — or slapping his or her hand out of anguish? Do you scream with excitement and laughter when you are playing with your child or do you find yourself constantly yelling at him or her? Do you model madness — or a caring demeanor?

Children need to feel accepted and secure. This enables them to have faith in themselves and those around them.

Dr. Sonya Rogers is a certified counselor who serves as an English instructor for Daphne Middle School and Faulkner State Community College.

Rogers’ column runs twice a month, exclusively in the Daphne Bulletin and on Gulf Coast Newspapers’ Web site baldwincountynow.com.