DAPHNE, Ala. — On certain nights she can be found in costume, taking down opponents who get in her way. By day, however, she’s a surprisingly mild-mannered mom, who believes in putting her children first.

This is a somewhat melancholy Mother’s Day for Melissa Hall. The Daphne mom, also known as Devilyn Mee, No. 77 on the Mobile Roller Derby team, is facing yet another day without Steve, her high school sweetheart and husband of 21 years, by her side.

“We were in the middle of a divorce when he committed suicide,” Hall said. “He was doing drugs. I didn’t know for a year and a half, until he was in debt and had to come ask for help. I said we could fix this.”

Although she had hoped counseling would solve everything, the lure of crack cocaine was too great and she made the painful decision to end the marriage.

Steve killed himself March 9, 2008. He also left behind two children, Brianna, now 14, and Austin, now 7.

The Clinton, Miss. native said, “I was going down this road, and he was going down that road. (The drugs) got a hold of him, and he couldn’t let go.” Steve was also taking a prescribed antidepressant at the time, she added.

Hall suspects he became involved with crack while spending time with friends from work. A member of Sheet Metal Workers Local Union 441, her late husband was employed at Mobile Infirmary Medical Center. She said he was a great person and a great worker, who never missed a day on the job.

“Seventeen years of our marriage were absolutely amazing,” Hall said. “He was an amazing man and an amazing father. But drugs can get a hold of you and not let go. As a parent and a wife, you can only take so much. I was not going to have that around my kids.”

Hall said they argued frequently during the last couple of years of their marriage, but the situation calmed down after they separated. When he took his own life, their son was too young to understand what was going on. Their daughter was much more aware.

“I’m very honest with Brianna. She knows he did it, but not how or where he did it. Austin knew there was a secret,” she said. “They’re still struggling with it.”

Both children have received counseling to help them deal with the tragic loss of the man they loved and looked up to, but Hall has not shied away from using his death as a lesson for them.

“I used that to point out and teach,” she said. “Brianna’s friend’s mother (recently) passed away from an overdose. She went to the funeral, and I think that was good for Brianna. Kids try things and they just don’t know.”

May 3 would have been Steve’s birthday, and Hall will herself turn 40 on May 30. She is learning each day how to be a grieving widow, single parent and sole provider.

“The things I thought would be hard to handle were really easy, and the things I thought would be easy were really hard,” she said. “When I sold his truck, I cried for hours after the new owner drove away. I’m adjusting to juggling everything, making sure there is time for everything. For the past year, I’ve had to live life day by day. There’s too much. I’ve had to make decisions as they come up, wondering if they are right or wrong. I won’t know until later in life.”

Hall said she has a great support system. Her coworkers at ADAM Systems have become a second family, and her many friends have been there for her as well. Perhaps her biggest source of strength has been the women who are her roller derby teammates.

She said, “A friend of mine at work told me about (the team) as I was telling her about Austin’s skating party. I had never watched roller derby and didn’t even know what it was. I had never been in sports. The first time I strapped on the skates, I was hooked.”

Although she immediately embraced the game, it wasn’t very kind to her at first. Hall broke her ankle during the initial practice, but stuck with it by continuing to attend each session until she healed and was again able to step onto the rink.

This is Mobile Roller Derby’s second season, and Hall’s first as a full-fledged team member. She is currently a blocker, and is in training to become a jammer. The women are a hodgepodge, she said, including nurses, teachers, investors and computer geeks.

Hall said she adopted her skating nom de plume because “the devil in me always makes me do something sometimes.” But it was roller derby that helped her find her true identity.

“I needed something for me,” Hall said. “I went from being my mom’s daughter to Steve’s wife to Brianna and Austin’s mother. Melissa was in there somewhere. It’s a good release. We practice on Mondays and Thursdays, and I feel best on Tuesdays and Fridays.”

Hall was once employed in accounting and payroll, and attended classes at the University of South Alabama in order to better understand the processes involved in her field. Now she works with automobile dealerships, helping them deal with proprietary software issues.

Her hardest job though remains that of single mom. Austin is a first-grade student at Daphne Elementary School, and Brianna is a freshman at Daphne High. They remain her first priority, and she pointed out that understanding motherhood in the 21st century is part of a learning curve.

“Times have changed. You can’t talk to them (children) the way your mother talked to you,” Hall said. She said she has become a better parent through the use of The Total Transformation Program, which was created by behavioral therapist James Lehman.

Hall said, “You have effective and ineffective parenting skills. I’m not going to have ineffective parenting skills. It’s our job as parents to teach them to wash the dishes. It’s their job to learn. Kids have got to know they are responsible for the decisions they make. Parents can’t simply give them everything they didn’t have.”

Mother’s Day for Hall used to include having dinner at the O’Charley’s casual family dining restaurant in Daphne, where she munched on a cheeseburger and rolls during lunch on Thursday. She said this year she will likely spend the day at home with her children.

“I still get mad that he left me with all the responsibility,” Hall said. “When things happen at the house, I have no one to go to, and I have to do it myself. I do it and it turns out alright.”

In addition to learning how to compete on skates, she has also mastered mowing the lawn and changing her own oil. Hall has also become a blogger, and an active Facebook and MySpace user.

She said, “I’ve always written in a diary, and I’ve never let anyone read it.” That has changed now, and her writings are available online for all to see. An entry entitled “A Lonely Anniversary” marked the date of Steve’s death.

“Brianna read ‘When Is Enough, Enough?’ about finally realizing I could be OK with me. When is it time to move on? When is enough, enough? I went to a therapist and was told to focus on now and what the future would bring. I’ve accomplished a lot this year. I’ve almost learned how to be a single parent, but I’m still working on that. There’s a lot of hill to climb.”

Hall considers herself a work in progress and is growing as a person, even as she raises her children without their father to help guide them.

“I’ve learned this past year that life is too short, and I’m going to live every minute of it with my arms wide open,” she said. “I’m going to smell every rose and flower I pass.”

In fact, Hall is dating again, but realizes the game has changed since she last played. Even though there is someone in her life, she stressed that she always will place her children and herself first.

“People tend to lose themselves in a relationship,” she said. “There’s one person I’m really fond of, but he’s just a friend. Brianna is okay with it. Austin doesn’t understand.”

Although the children know him, Hall has no plans for the relationship to intensify under the roof she shares with those she loves most.

She said, “Mom and dad divorced when I was 3, and she never brought anyone home. He (her current suitor) is divorced with two kids, and he agrees. I have too much respect for my kids to make them go through something. They’ve gone through enough already.”