Being born and raised in the South gives you an interesting perspective on almost everything in life, as generations of Southern writers, humorous and serious, have mused for decades.

I wouldn’t dare disagree, especially linguistically.

Certain Southern social sets are somehow naturally endowed with the ability to manufacture one of the rarest products on this planet: the Southern back-handed compliment (Inferus Perosus Editus).

The Southern back-handed compliment may sound like its cousin, the full compliment, but be advised that their calls are markedly different.

The Southern back-handed compliment usually requires the addition of various adjectives and additional phrases, necessary to both a) muddle the true intent of the comment and b) leave the listener feeling that the sheer number of words used must convey a compliment.

Note this a difference from the standard and decidedly more common American back-handed compliment, seen in turns of phrase like “You don’t sweat much for a fat girl,” or “You’ve got a great face; brains aren’t everything, dear.”

The American back-handed compliment is much more straight-forward and more easily interpreted than its Southern variant.

Let me illustrate my point with a few examples of the Southern back-handed compliment, gleaned from some studies done in the field by the McCollum Research Institute:

“Look at your outfit! What a unique sense of style you have. Only you could think to do that.”

“Honey, that hairdo is the most interesting thing I’ve seen in ages. You must be getting comments.”

“You are just too much! You are just such a special person!”

Taken on their own, these statements seem harmless, quite kind compared to the other examples.

Only those who’ve done graduate studies in Southern two-facedness ... or “manners,” as we call it ... are able to truly dissect these specimens for what they are.

Example 1: “Look at your outfit! What a unique sense of style you have. Only you could think to do that.”

Analysis: The adjective “unique” is your key here. “Unique” is seldom a kind adjective, and, no doubt, emphasis will be put on that word to emphasize to everyone who is not the wearer that the speaker is deftly and underhandedly mocking that clothing choice. The adjective “unique” replaces: either “odd” or “ugly,” possibly “hideous.”

Example 2: “Honey, that hairdo is the most interesting thing I’ve seen in ages. You must be getting comments.”

Analysis: Again, look to the adjective, this time the reigning monarch of vague adjectives, “interesting.” Interesting is the adjective that covers all, provided the tone sells the meaning the speaker is implying. In this case, the tone would most likely be overexaggerated and theatrical. The lack of adjective before “comments” in the final sentence conveys the speaker believes while there have been comments, they haven’t been positive ... and neither is the speaker’s.

Example 3 ... I think you get the point.

Don’t let prime moments to catch this creature in its native habitat slip away.

Every day, in coffee klatches, book clubs and Bible studies across the South, new and interesting ways to string together back-handed comments that seem nice are developing and being shipped out for the general public to enjoy.

While the creature is not in danger of going extinct, we should take advantage of the bounty around us.

And how does one respond to such a linguistic mystery? Let me provide you with an example from my hometown of Opelika, said to me by one of my mother's garden club cronies.

"Smart as you were, we expected you to be a big shot by now in some big city ... how nice you're still here."

This would normally be a time to turn the other cheek and bear the insult, but my overactive mouth won't allow me to do that.

"Well, I'd say you would know about the exodus of our intelligent folks, but since you've been here for decades, what does that say about you, ma'am?"

Sometimes, venom requires venom back. You just have to pray your poison acts faster than theirs.

Cliff McCollum is managing editor of the Gulf Coast Newspaper Group. He can be reached at cmccollum@gulfcoastnewspapers.com.