A sad announcement, as we mourn the passing of an old friend – common sense.

Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States. No one really knows how old Common Sense was. His birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to schools, hospitals, homes, factories, etc. (helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and/or foolishness).

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the parents are in charge, not the kids) and it’s OK to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression and the Technological Revolution. Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends (including body piercing, whole language and “new math”).

In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well-intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-serving politicians. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.

When a woman (too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot) was awarded a huge settlement, he went on life-support.

However, when he observed the recent Congressional proceedings, he finally threw in the towel.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents (Truth and Trust); his wife (Discretion); his daughter (Responsibility); and his son (Reason). His is survived by his stepson (My Rights) and his stepdaughter (Ima Whiner).

Not many people attended the funeral because so few realized that common sense no longer lived in the United States of America.

Dennis Sharpe
Spanish Fort