Q: There is a boy in my class who is always being teased and I feel sorry for him. How can I help stop it without having to hang out with him?

— Sally

C: Dear Sally, first of all, give yourself a pat on the back for caring so much about the feelings of another student while amid a group that seems unconcerned about how this person feels. 

One way to stop your peers from teasing this boy (or anyone else they seem to target) is to let your classmates know just how rude and mean their actions are. This can be done without associating yourself with this person in question. 

Try using phrases that let the perpetrators know how hurtful they are being without specifically naming the person they are teasing. It’s okay to simply state “Y’all are being really mean.” No matter what you say, however, make sure it’s clear to your classmates that what they’re doing is uncool, and should stop. 

Hopefully, they will listen to you and stop teasing the boy.

SR: Teasing is a pervasive behavior that occurs within groups of friends, family and teammates. It is an ostracizing mechanism that is often thought of as “privileged disrespect” or “playful insults.”

The word teasing originates from the Anglo-Saxon term “taesan,” which means to tear apart. Teasing can begin as a joke, but escalate to aggressive bullying. It can be expressed verbally and physically.

Teasing can be a temporary thing. However, some children are more vulnerable to teasing than others, and can be singled out by their peers. When teasing is frequent, the person needs to receive help from parents, classmates, or educators. Adults should intervene to gather the facts as to why the behavior is occurring, and then teach appropriate responses. Victims should never tease in return.

For some people, a quick response works. For others, ignoring the bully works. If bullying persists, parents should discuss these concerns with their child’s teacher.

Unfortunately, all children are teased at some point, but finding the right person to intervene is necessary.

A good book parents can read for strategies to assist young people with the pressures of bullying is titled, “Easing the Teasing” by Judy Freedman.