What do water, wind, energy, electricity, atmospheric disturbances, and bacteria all have in common? They share a scientific principle called the 'path of least resistance' - a phenomenon observed repeatedly In nature. In motion, each of these elements will seek the least obstructed path toward a desired goal and pursue it. In other words, they look for the easiest way and take it.

They’re not the only ones.

Sometimes we choose to please others because it just seems easier than pressing against the crowd. Have you ever stifled an objection to avoid criticism? Or, said yes (when you should have said no) just to elude someone's displeasure? In general, we'd rather go with the flow than stand up and stick out. We'd rather be complimented than criticized. Popularity beats ridicule. Let's face it, rejection is lonely and uncomfortable; for some, intolerable. But today, let's honestly ask, "To what degree are my personal decisions affected by the opinions of others?"

The fear of rejection and the desire for acceptance are, in many ways, two sides of the same coin. They are the primary reasons we allow others to influence us. Both focus on the question: How do people see me and treat me? This question can become a ruling force in your life. Approval, as a motivator, can result in an exhausting practice of pretenses and self-censoring. This particular snare is sadly self-focusing; it keeps you looking inward instead of upward.

You might find yourself agreeing to almost any inconvenience for the sake of approbation or accomplishing Kingdom-work for the triviality of human gain. Or, you might run yourself ragged trying to create the perfect image - body, reputation and sparkling personality - by putting on ten different masks for ten different people in an effort to impress and charm each one. By the end of the day, you’re left out of breath, stressed, and still clamoring for that ever-elusive validation of worth.

When your most important audience becomes people, rather than God, there is real danger for moral compromise and a certainty for dissatisfaction. Our Lord, Himself, understood the pain of rejection, but didn't allow the fear of it to manipulate his choices. As Hebrews 4:15 (NIV) puts it: "We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin." We're not promised a life without persecution; we are called to shine as lights in a darkened world as our Savior did. That will involve 'standing up and standing out'. But, our sympathetic Lord promises help through the Holy Spirit and spiritual courage by His constant presence. "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

Inevitably, your integrity will be tested. You'll deliberate between the desire to do right and the desire to please others. Sometimes those two things stand in stark opposition to one another. Will you choose the praise of God or the praise of men? Ultimately, one will be prioritized over the other in our lives. Let's remember: "The eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him." (2 Chronicles 16:9, KJV) There is a heavenly audience to our lives. We should never fear rejection more than we love holiness. Or, love the applause of men more than we respect God. Stand in your integrity and live in the holiest possible version of your God-given personality. Let the His love be your pervasive motivator and His Word your constant frame of reference.

Reliance on others to sustain personal feelings of worth and adequacy is toxic; it is a hidden sickness of the soul with eternal consequence. Only God's affirmation has the strength and weight to fully satisfy. There is an acceptance unlike any other – divine, complete and eternal. The recognition your soul craves is satisfied by His perfect love - a love bigger than the sting of a thousand rejections. The Highest Judge and Maker of All deems you worthwhile and loveable. Let Him be your strong tower and validation of worth.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." (Galatians 1:10, NIV)

Liz Miller lives in Daphne with her husband Matt and son, Logan. She looks forward to responding to your thoughts, prayer requests and guest speaker invitations, please write to millerfam3@hotmail.com.