Domestic violence has an overarcing impact that will influence the lives of one in four women who will directly experience it at some point in their lifetime, according to data released by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. But, women are not the only victims of domestic violence — men, and children are also impacted by acts of domestic violence.

Victims of domestic violence typically need assistance to get out of dangerous situations, and to deal with the emotional, physical and psychological repercussions from their experience. The Lighthouse center in Robertsdale has truly been a beacon of hope for hundreds of individuals in this area, offering shelter to those who need it, legal counsel, safety planning, housing assistance, or assistance in coping with their experiences.

The Lighthouse strives to live up to their description of a “beacon” of hope for any that need it, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, no matter the severity of the situation.

The Lighthouse is technically a shelter, but Christine Armstrong with the Lighthouse said it is more like a crisis assistance center, or a domestic violence program. “What most people really don’t realize about a shelter is that we are not really a shelter — we are more like a domestic violence program.”

Armstrong described the services that are offered through the Lighthouse as all encompassing. “In our shelter, pretty much, that is where we have the victims of domestic violence, and their children stay there. It is a highly secure location. We have got children’s programs, a child advocate, case managers who are social workers down there, our court advocates work down at the shelter, because a lot of people who are there are in the court system. We have a nice children’s playground and a playroom.” 

“The shelter is just a small part of what we do. We figure in a year’s time only about 25 percent of the people that we work with actually need shelter. The rest of them need help. They may have a place to stay so they don’t need the shelter and that is why we have two buildings,” said Armstrong. The shelter is at an undisclosed location, but their administrative offices, while still secured, are where most counseling takes place and other services are offered.

Because only one in four of those who seek assistance from the Lighthouse need shelter, Armstrong said it bothers her when people say that they need help, but they don’t need shelter so they end up not calling them. “That is one issue that keeps people from calling a shelter because they really don’t realize it is more than just a shelter.”

When people don’t seek assistance from the Lighthouse because they don’t want to take a spot that might be available for someone else also bothers Armstrong. She said, “That doesn’t matter. If they need help we are going to help them, it doesn’t matter how many people we have, and we don’t reach a limit on that…we are going to help everybody who calls.”

The Lighthouse also offers domestic violence crisis counseling, children’s counseling and rape crisis counseling. Armstrong said children’s counseling and care are particularly important, because “children have generally grown up in this home and adjusting to new life and dealing with all that they have seen can be difficult.”

A key aspect to the Lighthouse’s philosophy is prevention through both action and education. A prevention educator works out of the Lighthouse, but she is in the local schools every day that they are in session doing programs for all ages. Younger children are exposed to an anti-bullying curriculum, while older students are exposed to safe dating courses and educational courses about domestic violence.

“So many of the victims who are adults have never heard of domestic violence and they are in these situations and they don’t know that is exactly what it is.” Armstrong said, “They know they have some problems and they think it is simply anger management, but typically domestic violence is more of an issue of entitlement than anger management. It comes from when a person feels so entitled to something that when they don’t get it they feel that they have the right to hurt someone else if they don’t get it.”

“We do a lot here,” said Armstrong, “anybody who needs it, if they are having a tough time they can call. Our crisis line is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can always reach us.”

In a typical year, the Lighthouse provides shelter for 400-500 people, and provides services to more than 2,000 people.

By the time a victim seeks assistance from the Lighthouse, their situation has escalated to a level where they are no longer comfortable.

“Generally when they come to us they are ready to find a way out if they aren’t already out, but in my experience in what I do, when a person fully understands that the other person is not going to change that is generally when they get out because there is not a lot of hope,” said Armstrong.

Armstrong, and a lot of those who deal with domestic violence prevention see it as “homicide prevention.” Armstrong said it is “important to be diligent with domestic violence. Domestic violence is a crime in process because it escalates.”

Domestic Violence Awareness Month kicked off on Oct. 1. The Lighthouse is planning a memorial service on Oct. 14 from 6-7:30 p.m. at the Robertsdale United Methodist Church to honor everyone who has lost their lives due to domestic violence in their coverage area over the past twenty years. Armstrong said “we would love it if people would come and support these families for our memorial service.”