What makes relationships last?

One of the most rewarding aspects of any relationship is the ability of people to lift the spirits of others. Most people’s best friends are those who encourage them often. A true friend understands how to give advice in order to benefit those they care about; yet they also are aware of the correct technique for presenting information in a manner that is genuine and not meant as a threat or a means to badger someone else’s character or the relationship that has evolved. Having the ability to encourage others is truly a gift.

Showing appreciation for others in any respect is also wise. Surprisingly, for some people, giving credit to others when they do well or complete a job of importance is a difficult trait to possess. However, failure to notice others’ talents and good deeds is a selfish quality that makes one appear insecure and lacking in the category of being courteous. If you wish for others to show respect and compassion for you and your endeavors, it is vital that you demonstrate the same kind of behavior when dealing with other individuals.

Keep in mind that a forgiving spirit is a key ingredient for any type of relationship. Since we are all human and make mistakes continuously — and often unintentionally — it is of massive importance that we exhibit a character of integrity that embraces the idea of forgiveness for those who sincerely regret making a mistake that they would prefer to be forgotten or excused. It seems as though those who have trouble forgiving others are somewhat arrogant or terribly insecure.

Living victoriously means that you must be able to forgive others and yourself for mistakes that have occurred. Remember, holding grudges makes a person feel ill-tempered, even if it is hidden on the surface. If you find yourself at odds with another person, take the smart step to confront the problem and if necessary, ask for forgiveness. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that others know what you are thinking.

Of course, effective communication is fundamental to understanding people. Try to use the word “we” when sharing information, rather than “I.” Keep in mind the importance of saying “thank you” and “apology accepted.”

Be cognizant of asking for others’ opinions and earnestly try to show gratitude for favors and good deeds presented by others. Basically, people who appear happy are those who truly know how to connect with others effectively. Therefore, try to visualize everyone as an asset in your life — not an adversary.

When you attempt to bring out the best in others, it brings out the best in you!

Dr. Sonya Rogers is a certified counselor who lives in Daphne.

Her column regularly appears in The Bulletin.