DAPHNE, Ala. — The traditional side of motherhood, the stay-at-home mom, may have taken a back- seat in recent decades with the rise of double-income households. But regardless of the parenting style, two Daphne women — one stay-at-home mom, one working — prove they can make it work.

Happy at Home

Daisy McVay spent her 20s bookkeeping and running an adding machine for an Auburn accounting firm. These days, the 30-year-old mother of two fills her days at the Lake Forest home she shares with husband Wyatt, caring for Maggie, 3, and 7-month-old Luke; reading her Bible; and updating the family blog.  

Indeed, Daisy traded digits and paperwork for diapers and playing doll house — itself a full-time job. The kids keep her busier than ever, she said.

A typical day for Daisy starts at 6 a.m. There’s breakfast, getting Wyatt off to his work as a nurse at Thomas Hospital in Fairhope and walking with neighborhood moms at 8 a.m. After exercise, she runs errands and some days, takes the kids to the Daphne Public Library’s children’s story time. Then it’s back home for lunch and nap time for Maggie and Luke, she said. At this point, she cleans breakfast and lunch dishes, pays bills and — maybe — takes a moment to talk on the phone. “There’s no talking on the phone with them around without someone saying ‘Mommy, I need to go potty,’ ” she said.

When Wyatt comes home the family has dinner; then they enjoy each other’s company and play together before bed time. “When he gets home, I just want him to have time to enjoy the kids,” she said. “We just try to get the stress out of the way and just enjoy family time.” When all’s quiet, Daisy spends time with her husband and checks her e-mail.

The next day, it starts all over again. But that’s fine for Daisy, who said she’s living her long-time dream. “I knew before I graduated high school that someday I wanted to stay at home with my kids,” she said. “It was a conviction both me and my husband had. It’s personal. It’s not for everybody.”

She said the decision partially stemmed from her mother’s staying home to raise her, but it goes much deeper than that. “I knew I wanted to be the main influence in my children’s lives.” she said. “I didn’t want to miss anything. I just wanted it to be me that they see everyday.”

Many people told her the kids needed day care or preschool so they could interact with other children, but Daisy cultivated her own social opportunities. The McVays attend worship services at Faith Family Fellowship in Spanish Fort; Maggie has friends in the children’s ministries. Plus they interact with family friends’ children.

Days are filled with a delicate balance of changing modes, she said. Between playing, cooking, cleaning and fussy afternoons following naps, she’s found the importance of multi-tasking — and keeping her cool.

The biggest challenges are being patient and keeping her energy up. “A lot of times there’s no one there to relieve you. It’s just you and the kids all day,” she said.

But she copes.

“Just keep in mind what you’re doing is important,” she said.

This job’s worth every minute of stress, she said, because she gets to make all the decisions in her children’s lives.

“I wouldn’t trade it for anything,” she said.

Working toward

weekends

Jennifer Walker chose a different lifestyle: that of the working mom, and the two-income household.

A physical therapy assistant at Bayside Orthopaedics in Foley, she shares a 4-year-old son, Tyler, and a 7-month-old son, Caleb, with her husband, Amon, who configures airplane motor parts at Teledyne Continental Motors in Mobile.

The couple balance the responsibilities of parenthood and profession with a schedule that works for them.

A typical day in the Walker house begins with Amon dressing the boys and making breakfast while Jennifer prepares lunches. She drops Tyler off at pre-school and Caleb at day care, and then drives to work.

For the next eight hours, Jennifer helps patients work out joints and muscles, or build strength back after injuries. “I love it,” she said. “It’s so rewarding, helping people through their surgeries.”

Come 3:30 p.m., she picks up the kids and returns to their Lake Forest home. Then it’s time for laundry and to feed Caleb his bottle in the porch rocking chair while Tyler plays catch in the yard.

When Amon comes home, he plays with the children. After play time, he cooks dinner and Jennifer cleans the dishes. She then bathes the kids and Amon irons the family’s clothes for the coming day. The couple work as a team to get things done, but not by design, she said. “We never really sat down and said, ‘You do this and I’ll do that.’ It just happened that way,” she said. “I am blessed with a good husband that helps out a lot.”

The children go to bed around 8 p.m., and there’s a little down time, she said. “You sit and relax, watch TV, have a conversation with your husband …” she said.

The biggest challenge as a working mom is keeping balance, she said. “If you’re at home, you feel like you should be at work; and if you’re at work, you feel like you should be at home,” she said.

One aspect that helps put her mind at ease is knowing her children are in good hands. Tyler attends preschool at Central Christian School in Robertsdale; Caleb attends day care at Overcoming Faith Church in Robertsdale. “We’re blessed to have good Christian caretakers,” she said.

The economy had played a role in Jennifer’s decision to go back to work, she said, citing the rising costs of living.

She relies on her church, Faith Family Fellowship in Spanish Fort, for support. The Mothers of Pre-schoolers program — MOPS —  meets every other Thursday there, and helps her cope with unexpected aspects of motherhood. She also participates in a book club at church and enjoys reading before bed time.

But the balancing act has its silver lining, she said.

“Weekends are good. We look forward to Fridays,” she said. Weekends, like afternoons, give the family time to play together and leave the stressful work week behind them. She and Amon don’t like to leave the kids with sitters after they’ve been in child care all week, she said. The family’s hobbies include baseball, walks, drawing and coloring.

Amon and Jennifer build each other up; they are each other’s saving grace, she said.

“You’ve got to have a good support system, whether it be a husband, friends,” she said. “You just have to realize that they (your children) are your number one priority.

“The job may be there tomorrow and it may not, but this is what counts.”